


full stock of thoughts and dreams that scatter/ and you pull them all together

by piraterea



Series: Clarke x Murphy [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Clarke Escapes the Praimfaya, Clarke Griffin & John Murphy Friendship, Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes Friendship, Clurphy - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Humor, I had to delete it and now im trying again, I received harassment for this already so plz be kind, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Lovely Fluff, Not really slow burn, PLZ DONT READ IF YOU DONT LIKE, Sassy Echo, Sassy Raven Reyes, angsty almost ending and then happy ending, clarphy - Freeform, no echo hate here, nuh-uh not in this household, slight angst, spacekru, we stan echo here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:35:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27418120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piraterea/pseuds/piraterea
Summary: Clarke didn’t have an honest answer for why she moved to the empty side of he Ring, along with John Murphy. Maybe it was to escape the harrowing guilt she felt every time she looked out that window and saw the planet they had called home, burning beneath them.Maybe it was to try and indulge in what to do now. What was left of the Commander of Death when there was nothing left to kill? She had tried telling this to Murphy, but she could see the problem hit too close to home for him. So instead, he just made a joke about how she could kill Bellamy the next time he makes another one of his “together” speeches. And they moved on.Or maybe… it was because John Murphy was a decent friend.OR: Clarke makes it onto the Ring and now she and Murphy and sleeping together. Friends with Benefits they said. But those never truly work.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & John Murphy, Clarke Griffin/John Murphy, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Spacekru - Relationship
Series: Clarke x Murphy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2001889
Comments: 16
Kudos: 45





	full stock of thoughts and dreams that scatter/ and you pull them all together

**Author's Note:**

> PLZ BE KIND!! 
> 
> I recently posted this work and one user spammed me with harsh personal harassment because of it. It got so bad I had to delete this. I am now trying again. If you do not like anything given in the description, you are not forced to read this, but please keep kind words and remember words have power. 
> 
> Thank you!

Clarke didn’t have an honest answer for why she moved to the empty side of he Ring, along with John Murphy. Maybe it was to escape the harrowing guilt she felt every time she looked out that window and saw the planet they had called home, burning beneath them.

Maybe it was to try and indulge in what to do now. What was left of the Commander of Death when there was nothing left to kill? She had tried telling this to Murphy, but she could see the problem hit too close to home for him. So instead, he just made a joke about how she could kill Bellamy the next time he makes another one of his “together” speeches. And they moved on.

Or maybe… it was because John Murphy was a decent friend.

~

“Clarke? Clarke, wake up” Murphy mutters to the blondes sleeping form, trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes. She immediately jerks up in panic and looks around, only to remember everything that had happened in the past 3 months and calm down. “Hey, easy, it’s just me. We must have fell asleep” he whispers and she nods, searching for her shirt that had been flung carelessly somewhere in the room earlier that night.

“Just take mine” Murphy says when he sees her give up on finding it in the dark and still in a limbo between sleep and consciousness. He hands her his obviously too big for her t-shirt and she throws it on without hesitation. It’s not the first time she’s worn his shirt. She sits up and stretches, reaching for the remote that sat on the small table beside the bed. She flips off the dormant TV that had been abandoned quickly. She yawns and turns to Murphy who was pulling a pair of jeans on.

“What episode did we stop on?” She asks him as she helps pick up the abandoned candy wrappers that had been quickly forgotten as the previous night progressed. He shrugs and fails to stifle a yawn. The clock on the otherwise empty, dull gray wall read that it was almost 3 in the morning on the dot.

“I don’t know. I was focused on… other things” he mutters teasingly and she laughs slightly, throwing what was left of her midnight peace offering in the trash. She had shown up at his door that night, which sense recently, she had been doing more and more. But this time she carried chocolate and popcorn, wearing only an oversized shirt she had chosen to sleep in during their time on the Ring, he practically dragged her inside. Honestly, sex _and_ snacks? Who could turn that down? Definitely not John Murphy.

When he had shown up at her door with all 9 seasons of How I Met Your Mother on demand, she knew this would be the start of a great friendship. He had shown up at her door with the show on her third night on his side of the Ark. They started sleeping together her seventh night on his side.

They had both agreed no feelings were going to be involved and if either of them formed any sort of feelings, they would end it. Luckily, so far, neither of them have discovered any harboring feelings for one another. At least, not yet.

After cleaning everything up, he throws himself onto his bed and points at the door. “Later, Griffin. I will see you when I am awake enough to remember my name” he mutters and she whines loudly.

“Can’t I just stay here?” She asks and he shakes his head the best he can from the pillow he buried his head in.

“Nope, next time. Too tired tonight” he says and nonetheless she crawls onto the bed beside him.

“You’re not leaving, are you?” He asks and she shakes her head. He lets out a heavy breath and pulls the blanket over her body. It’s moments like these, when he’s being considerate like that, or how he pulls her closer to him, into his chest with a gentle arm around her waist, that makes her brain go fuzzy. She never knows what to do at times like these. She never pushed him away, because if she was being honest, she liked the feeling. She liked feeling a warm body beside hers. It was just easier when she was with Murphy. Not only was he great at sex, which was a huge plus, but he was also a great listener and a good friend. He doesn’t just nod along and pretend to listen when she rants, but he genuinely pays attention and adds his input or advice along the way. She supposed that was as good a reason as any to move here with him.

“You’re thinking very loudly” he whispers and she shrugs slightly, turning to him.

“Why did you come to this side of the Ring?” She asks him, and he seems genuinely shocked that _that_ was what was bugging her. But he plays it off with a shrug and a soft sigh.

“Me and Emori broke up. And I couldn’t watch her move on in life without me. But I’m over it now and as you have said many times, I have the best room” he says and studies her expression, “Why? What’s going on in that never-ending head of yours?” He yawns and instead of giving him a look or, as she had been doing ever since they had grown… closer, laugh, she just frowns.

“I don’t know. I guess I just couldn’t move on from what I did down there to survive. I couldn’t look down at that stupid fucking planet every day and remember it’s my fault” she whispers softly and he shakes his head, putting his hands on her shoulders.

“Angel, it’s not your fault” he says and she closes her eyes tight.

“But… what if I had done something differently? Or pulled ALIE’s switch faster? I let her get into my head and I wasn’t able to stop it in time” she rants.

“Clarke, it is not your fault. Those bombs were already set to hit. If you hadn’t done what you did, all of us would be puddles of radioactive goo right now” he insists and she nods.

“No, say it. Say it’s not your fault” he says and she rolls her eyes.

“It’s not my fault” she mumbles and he shakes his head.

“Louder”.

“It’s not my fault!” She shouts and he nods, seemingly satisfied.

“See, I told you. Now go to sleep. We can talk all we want about how dysfunctional we are _in the morning_ ” he yawns and she nods, as he pulls her back into his warm body.

~

It was a month ago that the lingering touches, the looks that weren’t completely sexual, looks that were from inside jokes to just wanting to see each other’s faces, and the many, many cuddles started happening. One night they had all decided to get drunk on moonshine and play Truth or Dare in the main room. It was possibly one of her favorite nights on the Ring so far. Being with all of them, drunk and playing stupid, childish games made her feel like it was the Dropship days all over again. They all seemed to feel that way too, at least the people that were there, and it made the entire time nostalgic.

After they had all bid goodnight, Clarke and Murphy stumbled to his room, and as they usually did at night time, they had sex. But for some reason that Clarke still either couldn’t figure out or couldn’t remember, that night was different. There was one conversation that she remembers amongst all their drunken ramblings or slurred messages. Some of the conversation was still blurry to her, but she remembered most of it.

_1 Month Ago-_

_Murphy was going on and on about how their time at the Dropship was nothing compared to their time on the Ring so far. One thing he said caught her attention, “I mean, for example. At the Dropship, I didn’t have friends or well, you. But now, I have both”. She laughs slightly, but thinks onto his words. At least, the best she can being drunker than she probably thought she was._

_“I mean, if you’ll take me, of course. Princess Clarke Griffin” he teases and she jumps onto the bed beside him._

_“Princess Clarke Griffin? I never liked that name. Princess” she says, scrunching her nose at the name and he shrugs._

_“Maybe you need a new one” he suggests and she nods._

_“What do you suggest?” She asks, pulling one of the pillows on the bed into her lap._

_“Hmmm… You don’t like Princess. But obviously we need something to commemorate your blonde locks” he says, tugging gently at a strand of her hair and she frowns slightly._

_“Yeah, I’m too drunk for big words. What does commemorate mean?” She asks and he shrugs,”Like I know”._

_“Ooh, Angel? You got the blonde look, AND you send people to well… the opposite of life. It’s perfect!” He says, voice slurred and obviously drunk. She laughs and he shakes his head._

_“No, I think I”m onto something here. I mean, you are like an angel. You save everyone and when you get pissed, you send people to heaven. Or hell, whatever” he works out and she shrugs._

_“Eh, it’s ok” Clarke teases, but when Murphy jumps at her and pushes her down onto the bed, holding her hands tightly above her head, she laughs loudly, “I’m kidding. It’s fine, better than Princess. Princess of the Ark, that was my past. I’m definitely not a princess anymore” she says and he nods. “No you are not” he mutters and pulls her lips to his. She smirks and kisses him back._

_~_

_“I just think, if I want to touch you or do something that is usually only done within these walls somewhere else, we should be able to. I don’t give a fuck what they think. If we want to fuck in, say the Skybox, then we should be able to” Murphy says later when most of the alcohol is gone, but he still isn’t exactly sober._

_She shrugs, “Yeah, that’s true. They don’t get to decide what we do with ourselves” she says and he nods._

_“For what I care, they can listen through a wall and wish it was them in here and not us” he whispers into her ear as she sits up on her knees and she curses her body for being so cursed by his words as a shudder runs down her spine._

_“Shut up” she mutters and feels his smirk against his lips as they trail down her neck. He was sitting behind her with his arms around her waist and she hums softly, turning her neck to give him more access to her skin._

_“Bossy” he says, biting down on skin and she lets out a small whimper._

_“We can’t even finish a fucking conversation” she says and he laughs softly, tickling the small hairs that dangle on her neck._

_“I don’t regret a thing”._

Ever since that day, something had unintentionally changed. They hadn’t addressed it, but their relationship, if you could even call it that, was different from then on. Murphy had not forgotten a thing and did make true to his word, he was definitely more open about the relationship. Luckily, no one had found out. Which was a miracle, considering she wasn’t really trying her hardest to hide it either. Whether it was dragging the other into a small closet or “exploring” the many bedrooms, they were _not_ very subtle and it was shocking to know that no one had figured it out yet. Unfortunately, there were still a few times when someone had almost found them in a compromising position.

One day, they were in the communications deck when it was their shift with Harper to watch the radio and they got bored. Because of how late they often had to stay until they could leave, it was no surprise they quickly got bored of just listening to the occasional static of the radio and Harper talking about some story about Earth. She gave up on telling the story though, because she was intrigued by what was going down with Clarke and Murphy.

Clarke was sitting on his lap sideways, so her legs hung from the side of the chair, and sharing a bottle of whiskey they had found hidden in a compartment in the chancellor’s office while they were doing… _stuff._ Clarke took a long chug and handed it to Murphy who thanked her silently, taking a swift drink as well. Harper didn’t question Clarke sitting on top of Murphy, that wasn’t it. Over their months on the Ring, it was obvious that of all people, Clarke and Murphy had grown closest. Wherever one was, you knew the other probably wasn’t very far behind. But they were always touching, PDA was just always a part of their friendship. Everyone could see that clearly. But no, that wasn’t what caught Harper’s eye.

While the two were talking, the two hands that hung loosely off the chair were playing together, plucking at one another’s fingers and basically playing footsie with their hands. They randomly laughed just looking at one another and they didn’t even need to speak to express what they were thinking. The other just knew. Clarke swings her legs on the side of the chair and Murphy offers Harper a drink from the bottle in his hands. Harper had politely declined, too amused by what she was watching. She knew these two use PDA a lot, but in front of their friends they were completely platonic. Right?

A few hours later, Harper looks over to the two and saw something that once again, slightly threw her off. They were both asleep in each other’s arms and Clarke had her head fit into the crook of his shoulder which seemed to be made just for her. She came to the conclusion that they definitely had fallen asleep together before and that this wasn’t a first.

Calling in Monty through the intercom, she waits for him to come. When he appears in the door, seeing her silently laughing was not what he expected. Honestly, he expected to have to pry Clarke and Murphy away from each other before they killed one another. Sure, he knew they were like besties now, but still… Clarke and Murphy together and mad are not a good combination.

He walks over to see what she is laughing at and sees the exact opposite of what he expected. Clarke asleep on Murphy’s lap and him holding an arm around her waist and another clung to her hand like a lifeline.

“Oh how I wished we had cameras up here” he mutters, turning to Harper who was smiling widely.

“Doesn’t it look like they’ve done this before, though?” She asks, pointing to the two intertwined figures and Monty studies them. The two seemed to fit together like two puzzle pieces finally reunited. He finally looks up and nods.

“Oh, yeah” he says and Harper smirks.

“Do we just… leave them here?” She asks and he studies the situation again before shaking his head. “No, we should wake them up” he decides and Harper walks towards them hesitantly, and shakes Clarke’s shoulder.

“Clarke? Murphy. Wake up!” She whispers and Clarke wakes up first.

“M-Murphy…?” She mutters, still stuck in a tired stupor. Harper presses her lips together to hide a smile and turns to give Monty a look. She sees him smirking, watching it go down. He nods and Harper knows what he means. She was right, the two have definitely slept together already. However, platonically or otherwise she did not know.

“No, Clarke, it’s Harper. And Monty” she says softly and Clarke sits up to see Murphy asleep below her. She shakes Murphy softly and he wakes up almost instantly. Clarke must have found that funny, because she laughs softly and climbs up, helping Murphy stand up. “I’m assuming we fell asleep?” Clarke asks and Harper nods, trying not to draw attention to the way Clarke and Murphy’s hands lingered together for a few more seconds before they drifted apart. Harper nods and looks to Monty. She knows that he saw it too. She turns back to see Murphy resting his forehead on Clarke’s shoulder and twisting his arms around her waist from behind.

“I’m exhausted” he whispers to Clarke and she nods. She tries to ignore the tingly feeling in her stomach that came from the way Murphy relies on her to keep him up. The way his hands feel so soft against her body and how warm he felt from behind her. She tries to ignore all of this and blame it on the exhaustion. She can’t feel things for John Murphy. That’s not how this works.

“Then go to bed” she hums and Murphy laughs.

“Great diagnosis, angel” he says softly and can practically feel the way her eyes roll at his words.

“Are you coming with me?” He asks her without thought, not remembering Harper and Monty are _right there._ He honestly didn’t care, he was too tired for that. What surprised him was how _she_ nodded without hesitation. She rubs her eyes and follows after him.

“Goodnight, guys. Thanks for waking us up” Clarke says just before they leave the door. As Clarke goes the direction of their room, _no, rooms, plural Clarke,_ Murphy goes the wrong way. She sighs and grabs his arm, dragging him the right way.

“Right” he mutters, following after her. They go to his room and fall onto his bed. Clarke didn’t realize until it was too late that she couldn’t remember the last time she slept in her own bed. Probably the night before they drunkenly played Truth or Dare, then she went and changed everything about their once stable relationship.

“Goodnight, angel” she hears Murphy mumble through a sleepy daze and she hums a response, not curling herself up in his warm body like she usually did and instead falls asleep on the other side of the bed, with only a ragged blanket to keep her warm.

But Murphy’s mind was running far to fast to even think about sleep. He was thinking about how when he woke up, the first thing he felt was Clarke’s hand in his. He didn’t know if he liked it. He wasn’t supposed to like it, right? That wasn’t part of the deal. The deal was that they were purely physical and the second they feel something they break it off. He didn’t want to feel things for Clarke Griffin. But at this point, watching the way her chest lifted gracefully up in down in her sleep and the way her beautiful blonde head of hair cascaded on her shoulders like a goddess, he feared he didn’t have a choice.

~

Another time they almost got caught, they were playing cards with the rest of the group and Murphy could feel eyes on the two of them. “So what are we playing?” He asks, hoping to break the tension. Bellamy speaks up, still eyeing the two suspiciously. “We’re playing Goldfish. Echo insisted” he teases and Echo scoffs. “What? The game seems interesting. At least the way Emori explained it” she reasons and Murphy chuckles.

“Yeah, I thought so too. When I was seven” he taunts and Raven laughs, then shuts herself up at Echo’s glare. Murphy glances at Clarke and sees her smiling at his joke. He was confused when he felt a warm feeling in his chest. He had never felt that way when other people laughed at his jokes. Too be fair, not that many people laughed at his jokes and they usually end it with a “Shut up, Murphy”, so he couldn’t say much. All he knew was, he didn’t feel like that when Raven laughed at the joke. But he always seemed to when Clarke did. Weird.

He noticed Bellamy was looking at Clarke and sharing a smile with her. Now he _definitely_ didn’t like that feeling. It felt like someone punched him in the throat. He watched the two shared a look and tried to focus on his cards, or the window that showed Earth, anything but the two people practically eye-fucking, at least that’s what he thought of it. The feeling in his stomach didn’t go away though. He stands up and sets his cards down.

“I’m hungry. I’m gonna go find food while you figure out what game we’re playing” he says and stalks away. He vaguely hears Clarke say something then follow after him.

“Hey” she says once they are alone in the halls of the Ring. He gives her a tight smile and continues walking. But not before she steps in front of him and frowns. “What’s up with you?” She asks and he shrugs.

“Just hangry, I guess” he lies and she sighs, but gives up.

“Let’s look in here” she mutters, pointing to a door and he inwardly curses himself for making her upset. Great, he’s truly done it now. Upsetting her was the last thing he wanted.

“Clarke…” he starts but she shakes her head. “It’s fine, Murphy. I don’t need to know everything, I get it” she says, but he can see that he hurt her feelings. He mumbles a curse and follows her into the room. She starts to dig through drawers and he tries to focus on finding food, but he can’t. Obviously he can’t, not while knowing he upset Clarke. He lets out a breath and turns to her.

“Clarke, I’m sorry. Of course I want to tell you everything. Just… even I don’t know what I’m feeling right now” he tries to explain and apparently she understands because she nods and sits up on the dresser.

“It’s fine Murphy. Really. I just don’t want you to think you can’t tell me things” she says and he shakes his head, placing himself between her legs.

“That’s not it Clarke, I swear. Of course I can tell you stuff. You’re probably the only person I could tell stuff to” he says and she smiles.

“Ok” she whispers and wraps her legs around her waist, “So… we have a while until they wonder where we are. And I’m pretty sure I already found some food” she suggests, holding up a bag of trail mix and he raises an eyebrow.

“What are you suggesting, angel?” He asks and she rolls her eyes, but her smile doesn’t waver.

“Are you really going to make me say it?” She asks and he pretends to think about it before nodding. She laughs slightly and nods.

“John Murphy, I want you to fuck me like my life depended on it” she whispers in his ear and he shivers involuntarily. He gives her a look and she smirks.

“Jesus, fuck. You are going to be the death of me” he mutters and she snickers. But he pulls her lips roughly to his and she tangles her fingers in his dark brown locks.

~

“Why did they keep looking at us? Did you tell them something” he asks her later as he helps pull her shirt back on and grab his own shirt. She shakes her head and frowns slightly. “Someone’s coming” she says quickly and he raises an eyebrow.

“Well, they gotta know someday” he says and she scoffs.

“Murphy! Seriously, put your shirt on!” She hisses and he rolls his eyes, grabbing his shirt from the floor.

“So bossy” he teases and she smacks his shoulder playfully right when Bellamy and Raven walk in. They jump slightly when they see Clarke and Murphy standing there. Raven surveys the scene then smirks.

“Hey guys” she says and Clarke smiles, trying to play nonchalant.

“Hey, we found the food” she says and holds up the trail mix. Bellamy nods and looks them both over.

“Right, in the very first room from the main area? How long did you look in here?” He asks, clearly playing with them.

Murphy shrugs and grabs the bag from Clarke, ruffling up her already scrunched up hair before walking to the door.

“What can I say? Clarke just can’t seem to get enough of me” he laughs and Raven snorts. “Please, you are probably the last person Clarke would sleep with. I’m obviously first. Bellamy may be second” she teases and Murphy tenses up, that feeling in his chest coming back for more. He gives Clarke a look and she rolls her eyes.

“Raven you are the last person I would tell my list too” she says and walks to Murphy, grabbing the bag of trail mix from him.

“Come on, let’s go” she says and practically pulls Murphy along with her.

“You do know I wouldn’t sleep with Bellamy, right?” She asks when they are out of Bellamy and Raven’s earshot. He shrugs “It’s not any of my business” he says, that tight feeling in his chest squeezing even harder. Clarke shakes her head and makes him stop.

“Seriously Murphy? Considering we’ve been fucking for the past 4 months I would probably consider it your business” she argues and he lets out a heavy breath.

“Ok, I’m sorry. If you want to fuck Blake, that’s fine by me. Hell, you can fuck _both_ Blakes. Just maybe give me a warning if you do” he says and she shakes her head.

“Ok, but don’t expect a warning anytime soon. You’re good enough”.

They go back to the room and see them all sitting around the table. “What, no cards?” Murphy asks and Clarke rolls her eyes.

“No, we’re going to play another game” Harper says and gives Monty a look. He smirks and sends Bellamy and Raven a look. They nod and sit in a chair. “We are playing… Never Have I Ever” Emori says and Clarke laughs as Murphy scoffs.

“Ok, what next? Duck Duck Goose?!” He asks and Echo speaks up.

“What’s Duck Duck Goose?” She asks and Clarke laughs again as he gives Echo a look.

“Don’t even start with me, Goldfish”.

“Murphy, calm down. It’ll be fun” Clarke says and he only then sits down. If Clarke wasn’t going to leave with him then he’d be all on his own. “Fine” he mutters.

“Where’s the alcohol?” Bellamy asks and heads turn to Monty and Raven.

“Why me?” She asks innocently and Clarke rolls her eyes. “Because you are an alcohol hoarder, Raven Reyes” she says and Raven scoffs.

“You are one to talk. You two probably hoard all the goods on your side of the Ark. You both are always hiding back there, probably getting drunk half the time” she argues and Murphy raises an eyebrow. She wasn’t half wrong.

“What do you two do back there anyway? You both are always locked up by yourselves somewhere” Emori asks and Murphy shrugs.

“That is for us to know and you to never find out” he says and Clarke nods in his direction.

“So are we playing or what?”.

~

The final time they had almost been caught wasn’t an almost. They were straight up caught red handed.

It was about a week after they played Never Have I Ever and the fact they hadn’t been caught yet was even more surprising. Especially since Echo had made it her job to start sneak attacking people to train them. The amount of times Echo had almost caught them was starting to pile into a heavy heap. They had been sleeping together for about 5 months now. And, obviously, things had changed… a lot. Clarke had noticed, even around their friends, they acted very _coupley._

For example, she would somehow always find herself sitting against him in some way when they were together, alone or otherwise. Sometimes she would be in his lap, sometimes he would be sitting on the couch and she would sit in between his legs on the floor, or she would lay her head in his lap and he would gently comb through her hair with his fingers, seemingly on reflex. Or, what was once just senseless fucking was now always seeming more meaningful. Like they weren’t just two friends wanting to get off because they were alone in space anymore. She never seemed to have a problem with it and he never said anything about it, so she assumed she was imagining that one.

She knew, whether she liked it or not, she was growing feelings for John Murphy. And she knew the rules they had set as well. But that was the problem, when his rough hands would play almost impossibly gentle with her hair, or when he whispered her name like a prayer in bed, she didn’t want to stop. She wanted it to never stop.

Their friends never seemed to question _how_ close the two seemed. At least, not verbally. She saw the puzzled looks when she and Murphy were extra with the PDA or acting like they were more than platonic. Obviously, sexually they weren’t, but what was messing with her head was that she didn’t know if that was true when it came to romantically.

When they were caught, Clarke and Murphy were lounging around in Murphy’s bedroom. It was almost time for their 3 times a day meal of algae and they were not wanting to go anywhere. She was drawing in a sketchpad she had found in a storage closet, her head laying on Murphy’s chest and her lower body outstretched between his legs. Murphy had the TV on and was watching a movie called “Back To The Future”. He seemed to be trying to process something that was happening, because he tapped her shoulder quickly. Normally he wouldn’t mess with her while she was drawing, but this time was apparently different.

“What?” She asks, lifting her head up to look at him, her view of him upside down. “So… is this guys _mom…_ trying to fuck her son?” He asks, genuinely confused and she shrugs.

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen it” she mutters and he presses play, unfreezing the TV. It plays and she seems to see what he means because she sets her sketchbook down and sits up. “Wow. What the hell was it like on Earth before the apocalypse?” She wonders aloud and he shrugs. “Probably full of weird perverted little shits. I was reading something earlier about something called a “Phone”? It looked interesting. It was something like the tablets that were on the Ark, but everyone had one and they were miniature” he says and she nods.

“Interesting. So what, did you have to put them in your pockets or just always hold them?” She questions and he shrugs.

“It’s so weird to think of what the world was like before it was destroyed” she speculates and he nods. She looks up at him again and sees him looking out the small porthole window in his room that just barely showed Earth.

“Do you think they’re ok down there?” He asks and she nods without hesitation.

“Yeah, Octavia is strong, she can lead them” she insists and feels Murphy’s hands crawl around her waist and pull her into his lap, facing him. She gives him a look as he studies her. “ _Do_ you think so? Or are you just saying that?” He asks and she sighs, shaking her head.

“I don’t know” she finally answers and he lets out a breath. “I mean, I have to hope, right?”. He shrugs and plays with a spare lock or hair that strayed from the rest that was tucked behind her ear.

A couple of weeks ago Clarke had decided to chop half of her hair off while she was on a pain kick. She had found her cell in the Skybox and freaked out. Suddenly everything had came back to her. Wells, Lincoln, Lexa, her father, Maya, every single person she had killed or second hand killed. Murphy had found her in the midst of a panic attack and helped her through it. He knew saying stuff like “It’ll be ok” or “It’ll be over soon” is exactly what you shouldn’t say. Because it’s not true. So he told her stories, about his life on the Ark before they came down, what his father was like or his mother before she was constantly in a drunken stupor.

When she finally calmed down and he took her back to his room, she had insisted over and over again she wanted a hair cut. When he finally agreed to help her, he had to first figure out how to actually cut hair. When he had learned what he figured was enough, he had Clarke sit down so he could get to work. The finishing result actually made him very proud. He realized he liked the short hair much better late that night when he noted he could get hold of her hair much faster. That would _definitely_ come in handy.

“Yeah, there’s nothing we can do but hope” he mutters and she hums an agreement.

“So… what do you want to do now?” He asks and she smirks, playing with the collar of his solid gray shirt. “I may have an idea” she says and he raises an eyebrow. “Really, angel? Do tell” he says and she rolls her eyes, pulling his lips to hers. He holds his hands on her waist and pulls her closer and she wraps her hands around his neck. “Watch someone walk in here any second now” he whispers onto her lips and she smacks the side of his head.

“Don’t jink it” she mumbles and he hums in response, kissing her roughly like two currents hitting against one another, fighting for dominance over the other. They were so drawn into the current, they didn’t hear the feet padding loudly on the floor towards the door. He kisses down her jawline and leaves soft bites along her collarbone. Not hard enough to leave a mark, not yet. But he knew, anything that could be covered with clothing was fair game for him to mark as he pleased.

“Stop being a fucking _tease_ ” she whimpers and pulls his lips back to her own, too impatient to have to wait for the taste of his lips on her own. His fingers move up her thighs almost tauntingly slow as she tangles her hands in his hair. Just before Clarke could get a word in about his painstaking speed, a scream of shock erupted in the room and they both jump in surprise, turning to whoever made the ear drum killing sound.

They look up to the sound and see Raven, Bellamy, and Echo standing in the doorway. Clarke then recognized the scream to be from Raven. She seemed to be frozen in shock. Bellamy was looking at the two as if it were all a weird dream and he was hoping he would wake up soon. Echo looked proud, a presumptuous smirk on her face. “Hey, guys” Murphy mutters and Clarke rolls her eyes.

“Dammit, Murphy! You jinxed it!”.

~

Clarke compared explaining everything to them as worse than burning in Praimfaya. She had never experienced the latter, but she can imagine this was probably worse.

“So… how long?” Monty asks, barely keeping a straight face. After all, he and Harper had called it. Clarke turns to Murphy and he shrugs, already understanding the question in her eyes.

“They are literally communicating telepathically right in front of us” Raven whispers to Bellamy and he nods, studying the two in front of them. Clarke turns back to the group interrogating them and shrugs.

“I don’t have a specific answer. A few months, right?” She says, turning to Murphy for confirmation and he nods. “That’s about right” he agrees.

“So are you two… together now?” Emori asks, glancing over to see Echo’s expression. She still carried a proud look in her eyes looking at the two in front of them. Clarke and Murphy quickly shake their heads in unison, glancing at one another quickly before looking away. “No, we are just sleeping together. That’s it” Clarke promises and Murphy ignores the tiny little prick in his stomach at her words. He wasn’t sure what to feel about that. He heard the lie in Clarke’s words, because even she didn’t know what they were anymore. They definitely weren’t _just_ sleeping together.

“Oh, so like that Friends with Benefits movie we watched. With the Mila Kunis girl?” Harper asks and Clarke nods, wanting to escape this conversation.

“You do know those never work, right?” Raven says, still watching the two closely. She was unsure how this _relationship_ thing would affect their group.

“We’ve made it this far. What’s stopping us now?” Murphy argues and Echo raises an eyebrow, finally speaking up.

“Feelings”.

They let them go from their interrogation quickly after. But Echo and Raven’s words ring through their heads. Feelings, a ridiculous thought. Clearly they didn’t have feelings for one another. Right? And for the first night in four months, Clarke sleeps in her own room.

~

The groups little chat with the two of them didn’t stop them from sleeping together. Actually, it made it easier. They no longer had to hide where they were going when they sneak away somewhere, at least most of the time. Their friends now had the right idea of knocking when a door was shut. Which they should have been doing anyway, but they let it slide. But now, when Clarke and Murphy would randomly get up and walk away, they didn’t have to explain themselves for where they were going.

Although, with freedom comes more awkward moments. Ever since their friends found out the truth, Clarke and Murphy had been caught together more often then they would like to admit. When Raven and Echo had found them together in the comms room during their shift watching the radio, they nearly lost their shit.

“You can’t just do… _that,_ everywhere!” They remember Raven saying when she saw the two together. Clarke had been sitting atop of Murphy in the chair that sat in front of the large window showing the still burning planet Earth. Echo never seemed to have a problem with it, but she felt a little uncomfortable after because they had been sitting in her chair.

A few weeks after the truth was out, Monty had the genius idea of doing a movie night. He even found some vodka in one of the Skybox cells. They didn’t know who’s it was, but they thanked whoever it was that they were able to smuggle in some liquor.

“So, what are we watching tonight?” Murphy asks them when he shows up. He immediately plops down in his spot next to Clarke and that messes with Clarke’s mind as well. Did he have a reserved seat next to her? He was the last to show up, yet no one had bothered to sit next to her. As if they all already knew the spot was saved for Murphy. Did he always have a seat reserved for him by her side? Or was it after there friends with benefits situation became more than just that?

“We are watching Ghost” Raven says and passes him the bottle of whiskey. He takes a long swig and then frowns.

“The one with Patrick Swayze? Finally a good film” he mutters and Clarke slaps at his arm.

“We’ve watched plenty of good movies up here” she argues and Murphy shakes his head, throwing his feet on top of her lap. She glares at him and he shrugs.

“Sure, Ms. Legally Blonde” he teases and dodges as her hand swings at his head. He snickers and hands her the bottle in his hand. She accepts it gratefully and takes a drink before passing it to Echo. Echo hums in happiness and takes a long drink from it then passes it along.

“Legally Blonde is a good movie. Now everyone shut up and start it” Raven says and grabs the bottle from Emori before she could take a drink. Emori stutters an argument, but not before Raven can shush her and Monty presses play.

“Is everyone asleep?” Murphy whispers in Clarke’s ear later on when the credits start rolling. She looks around lazily, as she had almost been asleep too. She had found herself laying against Murphy’s side watching the movie, and she would be lying is she said it wasn’t comfortable. Which means she knew what that meant. Looking around, she sees he was correct. Everyone was either falling asleep or already out. She laughs softly and lays back down on his chest. “No… I don’t wanna sleep here” he complains and she scoffs slightly. “Then leave. But I’m staying here” she mumbles and he sighs.

“Pleeeaase” he pleads and she mumbles an incoherent argument.

“Pretty please with moonshine on top?” He asks and she groans.

“Fine” she mutters and sits up. “Thank you” he says and stands up, pulling her up with him. She trips slightly, unable to keep her balance. “You good?” He asks and she shakes her head, laying her forehead against his chest.

“I can’t feel my feet” She mutters and he chuckles.

“Ok, come here angel” he whispers and pulls her up into his arms. She tiredly wraps her legs around his waist and lays her head in the crook of his neck. She hums softly and he smirks. “Jesus, you are cute when you’re tired” he tells her and she doesn’t respond, as her energy was spent. She didn’t have the energy to think of what those words could mean. He starts walking but stops when he hears Raven say something.

“Murphy, if you hurt Clarke in any way, I will beat your ass” she mutters and Clarke hears Murphy laugh.

“Don’t worry Raven, I’m pretty sure she’ll beat you to it” he promises and she nods, seemingly satisfied with his answer.

“Goodnight, Clarke” she says and Clarke lifts her head slightly.

“Night, Rae” she yawns and lays her head back down. “Where are we going?” She asks Murphy as they walk down a hall.

“My room. Where we go every night” he answers sarcastically and she would give him a snappy comeback if she wasn’t exhausted. So she just nods and lets him walk her there.

When they get to his room, he sets her down on the bed and she curls up in his blankets before she does anything. She hums in satisfaction as he comes onto the bed and wraps an arm around her waist.

“I can’t tell if you’re drunk off of vodka or exhausted out of your mind” he mutters and she rolls her eyes.

“Shut up. I’m tired, obviously” she mumbles and yawns. “Goodnight, Murphy” she whispers before she falls asleep. But she didn’t fall asleep easily, knowing what she had to do when she woke up. Obviously she didn’t want to, but she knew the rules. So she knew what she had to do. She had to end it.

~

When Clarke woke up, her heart felt heavy. She knew she had to do this. But it still hurt her to even think about it. But whether she wanted it or not, feelings for John Murphy had been handed to her. And she couldn’t take it back. They had set the rules clearly at the beginning and she couldn’t ignore them. She lets out a heavy breath and sits up.

“Morning, angel” she hears Murphy say and she turns towards his voice. He was standing by his dresser, pulling a shirt on.

“Hey” she whispers and he frowns. “Are you ok?” He asks and she shakes her head.

“We need to talk” she says and he raises an eyebrow.

“Ok” he says, confusion clear in his expression. She stands up and clears her throat.

“I think… we need to- I want to end this. Whatever it is” she manages to get out and he seems taken back.

“Did something happen? Did I do something?” He asks, genuinely distressed by her request and she shakes her head.

“No, Murphy. You did nothing wrong. I just… think it’s what’s best” she says and avoids his eyes. But her curiosity got the best of her and she looks up at him to meet his eyes. She regrets it immediately. When someone looks at you like he does, eyes holding total pain, it hurts; but when that someone holds your heart in their hand it kills. Even if you deserve it, sometimes especially if you do, the loss is a knife and your own soul is the beating heart it plunges into.

“Ok, sounds good” he says, pulling his eyes away from her own and she feels as if he not even wanting to meet her eyes was even worse than the look in his eyes. Because the looks he used to give her, the smiles reserved just for her, and the touches she wished would last forever, were no longer in her grasp. She could reach for them desperately for as long as she wished, but they were just out of her grasp. And that was the worst part.

“Ok, I’ll see you later then” she says, trying to keep the deep pain in her gut out of her tone and the tears that threatened to fall out of her sight. He just nods and then she’s gone. She goes to her room calmly on the outside, breaking to pieces on the inside. She locks the door slowly behind her and then collapses to the ground, her feet no longer capable of holding her up. She lays her back against the door and holds her head in her hands and her knees to her chest. Stupid _fucking_ rules.

~

Raven started getting worried about Clarke and Murphy when they didn’t come for breakfast. Sure, everyone hates the algae, but they never miss a meal. Emori had told her not to worry, that they were probably “busy”. She assumed she was right and didn’t question it. But when they didn’t come for lunch was when she got worried for real. Sure, Clarke and Murphy had kept to themselves a lot for long periods of time, but they always make quick show ups in the room or come to get food. And she hadn’t seen them all day.

“They aren’t always _this_ busy” she tells Echo and she rolls his eyes.

“Maybe they finally admitted their feelings for one another” she suggests and Raven rolls her eyes. Yeah, like _that_ was going to happen. She stands from the table and sets her cards down. She, Echo, and Harper had been playing Goldfish but not very well.

“I’m gonna go check on them. You wanna come with?” She says and Echo shakes her head quickly.

“I don’t think I ever want to go down there after knowing what they do there. No one ever goes down there but them” she says and Raven rolls her eyes again.

“Harper, are you coming?” She asks and Harper nods.

“Yeah, sure. I’m not a wimp like Echo” she teases and Echo shrugs.

“I’m pretty sure you could get STD’s down there just by touching the door handle, but sure. Go on ahead” she insists and Raven laughs, pulling Harper with her.

“You can’t actually get STD’s touching a door, right?” She whispers to Raven when they are out of Echo’s earshot and Raven just laughs again.

“Murphy? Clarke? You ok down here?” Raven calls when they get to their side of the Ring. Not seeing anyone and not hearing anything scandalous, they cautiously make their way to Clarke’s door.

“Clarke? Honey? You doing ok?” Raven asks through the door and they don’t get a response. Harper gives her a look and jiggles the door handle. It was locked.

“She’s in here” Harper whispers and Raven nods.

“Clarke, if you don’t let us in here I swear I will kick down this door myself” Raven threatens and Harper throws her a scolding look. But it must have worked, because they hear a heavy breath through the heavy metal door and a lock click. Raven pushes the door open and sees Clarke laying back on the single bed in the middle of the room. The light was off, despite it being the middle of the day and the blanket covers her entire form.

“Clarke? You okay?” Harper asks and they sit on the edge of her bed. Clarke sits up and they both can see she is not ok.

“Hey? What happened?” Raven asks, taking in her stature. Clarke shakes her head and the tears finally start falling when the two girls pull her into a hug. “I ended it. I had to” Clarke whispers in Raven’s ear and Raven freezes. She looks at Clarke and shakes her head.

“That dumbass. I gave him one job. Don’t hurt you” she seethes and Clarke grabs her arm as she tries to stand up.

“Raven! It wasn’t his fault. None of this is his fault. It’s mine. I broke the rules” she mutters and Raven and Harper share a confused look. “What rules?” Harper asks and Clarke sighs.

“The rules. We said no feelings. And we said as soon as we felt something anything close to feelings for one another we would end it. I tried delaying it as much as I could, but I couldn’t” she whispers and both Raven and Harper’s eyes grow wide. Raven wants to laugh in Bellamy’s face for being right, but right now her best friend needed her.

“Clarke! Ok, I’ll be right back. Harper can you stay here with her?” Raven asks and Harper nods, helping Clarke stand up and turns a lamp on.

Raven leaves the room and heads for the door across from Clarke’s. She knocks and, unlike Clarke’s room, she got an answer. “Go away” was said in a muffled voice through the door. So not the most polite response, but she could work with that.

“Open up, Murphy!” She shouts and in a minute, the door is flung open by a clearly angry and upset Murphy.

“What do you want, Raven?” He asks and she pushes her way into his room. She looks around the room and sees, just like Clarke, he had probably been on his bed for the morning. She sits on the spare chair and looks him up and down.

“You screwed up” she says and he chuckles without humor. “Really? Did I, Reyes?” He scoffs and Raven just blinks, unsurprised. She knew Murphy was a piece of shit when he was upset. “Careful, Murphy. Your asshole self is showing” she mutters, picking at her nails and he huffs, clearly annoyed.

“What the hell do you want, Raven!” He shouts and she rolls her eyes.

“No need to be a drama queen. I need to know why I have a devastated and shattered Clarke Griffin in the other room?” She snaps back and he turns to her, curiosity looming in his eyes, but then it is gone as soon as it had appeared.

“Why the hell is she the one upset? She’s the one who ended it” he mutters, falling back onto his bed. She groans and grabs his arm, trying to pull him off the bed.

“Dammit Murphy! I gave you one job!” She shouts and he shrugs. He clearly wasn’t present so she snaps her fingers in front of his face. He jumps and glares at her. “Just go away, Raven. It would have ended anyways” he mutters and pushes her arm away.

“You are being a little bitch Murphy! What? I tell you the one thing not to do, and the next day you’re both screwed? You love her and she loves you! Get over yourselves and do something about it!” She scolds him and he gives her a look.

“You think I don’t know that? Reyes, it would have ended because I broke the rules!” He shouts and she rolls her eyes.

“Seriously! What is it with you two and rules?” She thinks aloud and he shrugs, pulling a pillow over his head.

“Ok, you’re good for now. I’ll be back. And while I’m gone… clean yourself up. You’re embarrassing me” she mutters and leaves the room before he can give her some snide comeback. She shuts the door and sees Bellamy and Monty standing outside in the hallway. “You owe me a whole bottle of moonshine for that piece of shit” she says to Monty and he nods without thought. Anyone deserves a whole crate full of moonshine for dealing with Murphy in a bad mood. “You can go deal with him. I can handle Clarke” she says and goes to the opposite room.

She goes in to see Echo and Emori had joined them. They were sitting on the bed talking, and something must have changed while they were gone because Clarke was giving small smiles to responses and not drowning herself in blankets again.

“Hey, I had to deal with that basket case across the hall” Raven says and sits down on the edge of the bed.

“Clarke, you know he loves you, right?” She says and Harper gives her a warning look. Clarke seemed to go pale at her words and shakes her head.

“It’s true. God, it annoyed the shit out of me sometimes seeing you two dancing around your feelings like that” Echo inputs and Clarke rolls her eyes, but everyone else smiles. It was too true.

“Yeah, I realized you two were more than just fucking about a week after we found out the whole friends with benefits situation. I think you both had a shift on the algae farm and me and Emori were going for the deck of cards when we saw you. It was almost painful to watch you two like that” Raven says and Clarke frowns, trying to remember what she was talking about, then a small smile appears on her face when she remembered the memory. Raven watched her remember the moment and thinks back to that day.

She, Echo, and Emori were going to play Goldfish again. Murphy could joke about it all he wanted, but it was a fun game. She remembered she left the cards in the main room and went with Emori to get them. They passed by the algae farms and Raven stopped in her tracks when she saw them. Murphy was sitting with his back against the wall and Clarke was sitting in between his legs. His arms were wrapped tightly around her waist and his face was nuzzled into the side of her neck. Normally, she would think something sexual was going on and then she’d want to get out of there as quick as possible. But no, this was just pure fluff. Murphy was swaying her body with his and leaving kisses on her collarbone, and making her let out laugh that echoed with happiness through the long farm.

Murphy whispered something in her ear and she Raven sees Clarke smile and turn her head to face him. He leaved a kiss on her nose that made her laugh again. Not wanting to interrupt the moment, Raven and Emori quickly sneaked off, laughter following them. They had told the story to Echo and she had just rolled her eyes, a smile on her face.

Remembering it now, Raven had no doubt these two idiots were in love. What annoyed her was that it took this long _and_ a breakup, if you could even call it that, to figure it out.

“Clarke? You are going to go over there right now and figure your shit out. Then, you are going to confess your undying love for one another. And after, we are going to leave and you two are going to have make up sex that will probably make me regret telling you to” Raven orders and Clarke shakes her head, looking at the door to her room as if it offended her.

“I don’t think I can do that” she whispers, thinking of the last time she saw him. What if he didn’t want to see her? What if he sent her away? She didn’t want to think about _any_ of that right now. So she just shakes her and tries to pull herself back under her blanket. Raven and the girls share a look before they pull the blanket off of her with one big pull and Raven and Emori pull her off the bed.

Clarke groans and stands lazily, slumping her shoulders. “No, none of that. You are going to go and, never thought I would say this to you of all people, go and fuck John Murphy” Raven says and Clarke almost laughs. Five months ago she wouldn’t have thought that sentence would ever be normal to her. Yet, here she is.

“If not, I will lock you two in a room and make you make up” Echo provides and Harper slaps her shoulder playfully.

“She’s kidding… I think” Harper says, not helping Clarke’s case. Clarke groans then nods.

“Ok fine, I’ll talk to him” she mutters and lets Raven push her out the door and up to Murphy’s door. Bellamy and Monty were sitting out in the hallway talking. When they see Clarke, they seem momentarily shocked, but hide the surprise with a single look from Echo and Harper.

Clarke looks to Raven and then looks at the door handle. Raven understands her silent plea for help and shakes her head. “Sorry babe, you have to do this yourself” she says and Clarke sighs, pressing on the door. Seeing it’s unlocked, she pushes it open and sees him sitting on his bed.

“Hey”.

~

Raven, Bellamy, Echo, and the group all sit outside of the door and pray it goes ok. Clarke and Murphy being in a room alone together was never a good idea, but right now… they could either break the bed or break the Ring.

~

“Hey” he mutters and stands up. She crosses her arms self-consciously and takes a good look at him. She wants to tell him everything, and she knows she should. But they just stand there, looking at one another in complete silence. The silence was killing both of them. Clarke wanted to explain everything. Murphy wanted to finally confess what had been on his mind for the past month and a half.

Clarke is the one who speaks first.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what to do and I knew we set the rules at the very beginning. I tried delaying it as much as I could, but I can’t. I can’t have you hold me, or kiss me. I can’t do that with you not knowing the truth” she lets out and watches the expressions on his face carefully.

~

Harper worries her lip and holds Monty’s hand in her own. The two of them knew from practically the beginning when she had the shift with them with the radio. It was more of a gut feeling that told her, but she knew. She knew ever since she saw their hands intertwined in their sleep that the two of them would be explosive. What made her nervous was what kind of explosive would they be? Would they be like a large wave coming in with the current that never calmed and took out all ships and islands? Or would they be a ticking time bomb, set off in complete silence and peace until it comes and eventually destroys everything?

All would be told.

Eventually.

~

Clarke could still see the hurt in his eyes from the morning. She never wanted to see that look in his eyes again.

“I didn’t know what to do when you ended… whatever we were. I didn’t even know what we were. We definitely weren’t just sleeping together anymore. But we weren’t _together_ either. So I didn’t know what to feel. Because I felt like I had lost nothing, yet at the same time I had lost everything” he told her, finally meeting her eyes. She wished she could respond. Tell him she had felt the exact same way. Felt like both a piece of her heart was missing, but she had also felt like there was nothing missing at all. But she couldn’t, as some people would say, a cat got her tongue. Or a cockroach, in other words.

~

Echo didn’t know much about the people she had boarded the Ring with. But she did know a few things.

She knew that Raven loved alcohol.

She knew Monty was passionate about his algae farm.

She knew that Harper was stronger than she seemed, she learned that the hard way.

She knew Bellamy was a natural leader, something she admired.

And she knew that Clarke Griffin and John Murphy loved each other.

Ever since she first saw them close in a spare bedroom, she was a spy obviously she had found out about them first, she knew they were in love. They weren’t doing anything sexual, she thinks they were looking for something. She never thought to ask them what because that would let them know that she knew about them. But they were looking for something in a spare bedroom and Murphy had come up behind her and started leaving small kisses along her neck. He said something to her that she didn’t hear a lot of. Just one word, “angel”. But Clarke had smiled and turned away from the dresser she had been searching. She turned and sat on top of it and ruffled his hair, making him stick his tongue out at her.

Nothing big had happened, but she was a spy. She was taught from the beginning to learn things about people. And she learned from them that they were two idiots in love who had no idea whatsoever.

~

“I was never good at speeches, that is sort of Bellamy’s gig, but here we go. If anyone told me I was going to be falling in love with _Clarke Griffin_ while I was stuck with her of all people on the Ark, I would have pushed them away and said they were crazy. But here we are. I love you, Clarke Griffin. And if you don’t feel the same, that is totally cool. We can go back to being friends, but honestly, I _really_ don’t want to. But we can if that’s wh-” Clarke cut him off with a hand on his jaw and a kiss on his lips.

He was shocked still for a moment before one of his hands reached up to gently tangle itself in her hair. They broke apart after what felt like years, and looked at one another, foreheads still connected.

“What now, angel?”.

~

Bellamy had known Clarke for now over a year. So he knew that this is probably the strangest thing she had ever experienced with her. Seeing Clarke and Murphy together was definitely not what he expected to see up here. There was one time he caught them together that definitely messed with his head. He knew they were with one another for the sex. But he didn’t know until that one moment that it goes far beyond that.

He had been going to lunch and had to run by the kitchen to grab a few more bowls. Emori and Echo had broken there own fighting and now he was the one who had to go and get them. When you go to the kitchen, you had to pass by Clarke and Murphy’s section of the Ring. So when Bellamy passed it, he saw Clarke and Murphy leaving Murphy’s room still in one another’s arms. Murphy had Clarke thrown over his shoulder and he was running out of the door, Clarke laughing as he ran.

They ran right past him, Clarke managing a quick, “Hey, Bellamy” before being carried away. They ran into the next hall and out of his sight and Bellamy watched with wonder. The moment had been so small and so big at the same time. He knew then that they definitely not just sleeping together anymore.

After lunch, Clarke and Murphy bid goodbye to them and went back to exploring the ship. There wasn’t much else to do those days, so they spent their time exploring every nook and cranny of the Ring. But just like that, they were gone and life went on. But sitting here now, outside the door as they hopefully make up, Bellamy remembered this and knew they would be ok.

~

“I’ve never done this before. These big declarations, so I’m just going to say it. Whether I enjoyed it or not, during my time with you on the Ring, I have fallen in love with you, John Murphy. And I can’t do anything about it.” she told him and could almost feel the happiness radiating off of him.

“Really?” He asks and she rolls her eyes, smile growing.

“Oh, really really” she promises and he smiles.

“Ok, but honestly, how oblivious are you? It would have to take a real idiot to not notice my honest to god pining. Even _Echo_ knew.” He teasingly scolded her and she scoffed. “Ok, I regret it. I take it back” she threatens jokingly and he shakes his head, a smile on his face. “No, you can’t get rid of me now”, pulling her to him and their lips connect. But what is used to be, all fire and rough, wasn’t like how it was now. Now, it was slow and passionate, taking their time to explore every inch of the other’s body. They knew they probably should have told the others to leave, but they didn’t want to pull away from each other now that they started. That part never changed.

He steps backwards, pulling her onto the bed. She smiles softly against his lips, feeling the smile on his as well. “I love you, Clarke Griffin” he whispers and she feels like melting. Those words alone could keep her alive if they were all she had. They _were_ all she wanted. “I love you, John Murphy” she whispers and feels his smile grow wider. Now _that_ , his smile, made her want to say those words every single day. Just to see his smile.

She felt at home here, in his arms. And for once, she never wanted to leave.


End file.
